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Bargaining-I would make a deal with the devil to go back in time and stop her affair before it started. But there is not a way to unfuck the guy my wife was with. Maybe therapy? Is there some kind of penance I can do to make this go away? Something she can do to make it all better? Sadly I know deep down even if my wife wore sackcloth's and ashes as atonement I could never forget, or trust her ever again.Guilt-Now that I made the decision why do I feel so shitty? Is it my fault I am breaking up the family, if I had been a better spouse would it have prevented her from fucking some other guy? Why cannot I even consider taking a second chance? I am so trying not to believe I am the bad guy in all this. But the look on my children's faces as I try to explain the "new" normal rips my conscience with remorse.Helplessness-Yes, I know fathers get the short end of the stick in any dissolution of a marriage, more so when children are involved. But the powerlessness you feel as strangers in the. “Noon,” I told her, “Rick is in the Red Tigers. He is paid at his unit on the Airbase. He will be here after he is paid.” She still seemed nervous.Our wives and Noon went shopping after we were paid, but I waited at the Team House for Starling. This month he was later than usual, and our wives had returned from shopping before he appeared. He had a huge smile on his face when he did.“Sorry to be late,” he told us before turning to display the SP/5 insignia now sewn on his uniform sleeve.“Congratulations!” Tweed and I both said, and shook his hand. Noon was very confused. Rick pointed to the new rank insignia on his shirt sleeve.“See,” he said to her, “I have an umbrella for my bird now.”“Umbrella!?” Noon asked, not understanding.“Rom” Suenee told her in Thai. Noon’s face lit up.“Are you almost a Sergeant?” she asked excitedly.“Almost,” Rick agreed. “I’ll be getting paid like one, but not until next month.”“Oh! Good,” Noon finally said, and seemed very happy that Rick had been.
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